Who you choose as your partner and who you surround yourself with will be what makes or breaks you.
I’ve had a tough round with friendships. I’ve allowed people into my life, thinking that I would get the same support I offered them, not with expectations, but rather through the trust that they would have my back when I needed it most.
Unfortunately, those friendships ended up crushing me, I spent so much time asking myself what I could have done differently. But I was asking the wrong question.
I held onto friendships that cost me showing up for myself fully, where I didn’t have to be muted, criticized, misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misrepresented.
I spent time thinking about how I contributed to this problem and what about myself is an issue…and then I realized it wasn’t who I was, I was ok. It was what I entertained, what I allowed, and the lack of firmer boundaries.
You see, Jord has seen me in the good, bad, and the ugly. He has shown up, embraced accountability, supported me, and held me accountable as well without keeping score. How was it I could maintain such a healthy relationship and yet have painful misalignments with friends?
When I started holding accountability and setting boundaries with these certain close friends, it created issues. When I questioned the gossip, or poor/toxic thinking, unclear intentions, lack of loyalty, or dishonesty in the name of peace, I learned something valuable and painful. I waited to place those firm boundaries out of fear of losing people I loved so dearly, but it came at a huge price. I also learned that if someone can’t be there for you in the midst of accountability and boundaries, then they aren’t for you. And they just may not have the capacity to meet you where you are.
Speaking truths will cost you, but there are people in this world who desire to expand and will be here for it.
There are people who will own up to their shortcomings, and honor your boundaries, and people who have the capacity to hear your story with empathy, support, and understanding. Consider your boundaries and accountability a filtering system.
This is what finding your people is like. People who are there for you, they just understand and empathize with your experiences and support you without contingencies. Don’t settle for less.
If you are a photographer looking for this type of person, join us! We have a community of like-minded creatives who desire to create an impact in their lives and those around them.
Thank you for the photo!! Lenco Photography